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September 11 attacks
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“First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they frighten you, then you win.”
~ Mahatma Ghandi

“In Mother Russia, plane fly into you! Oh wait...”
~ Russian Reversal on something


O SHI-

On Tuesday, September 11, 2001, a special unit of the CIA, FBI, the Mossad, and W.A.R.L.O.C.K. (see also Kennedy Assassination) employed what appeared to be four commercial passenger jet airliners to accomplish one of the biggest scams, false-flag operations and inside jobs the world has ever seen.

On that infamous day, a total of 2,974 people and lots of pigeons and pet fish died, four American airliners crashed, Tower One, Tower Two and Tower Seven of the World Trade Center in New York City collapsed, and a section of the Pentagon in Arlington, Virginia, was destroyed. And that was just the morning menu.

Billions worldwide were shocked by the incident, and were deceived by the US Government to believe that Al-Qaeda and Osama Bin Laden were responsible. What’s worse, the majority of the world population still believes that Osama Bin Laden was the mastermind behind the attacks. What’s even worse than that: that same majority does not care to know the truth and/or doesn’t want to accept it (especially in North America). And what's even worser evener than that, Osama himself believes it!

Fortunately, a few years after 2001, hundreds of angry, some would say "mad", American citizens would produce one of the finest collections of evidence to support the hairbrained theory that 9/11 was indeed an inside job.

Notables are:

* Loose Change. http://www.seeloosechange.com
* Architects and Engineers for 9/11 Truth!. http://www.ae911truth.org/
* 9-11 Research: An Attempt to Uncover the Truth About September 11th, 2001 (WTC 7). http://www.911research.wtc7.net/index.html
* 911truth.org: The 9/11 Truth Movement. http://www.911truth.org
* Pilots for 9/11 Truth. http://www.pilotsfor911truth.org/
* Scholars for 9/11 Truth. http://911scholars.org/
* Conspiracy Theories. CBC Television. http://www.cbc.ca/fifth/conspiracytheories/
* David Ray Griffin - 911 and the American Empire (2005)

Contents
[hide]

* 1 Incipit
* 2 The Background
* 3 The Plan
o 3.1 The Technology
+ 3.1.1 In a Nutshell
o 3.2 Getting Ready
* 4 The Pentagon
o 4.1 First Theory
o 4.2 Second Theory
* 5 The Boeing E-4
* 6 America, we cannot let the terrorists win!
* 7 See also

Incipit

Fact: There were two large buildings, then there weren't.

Put the left tower in, and shake it all about.

Anything else is just hearsay.

Uncyclopedia is mainly a humour site, and it is actually the best site for real info on 9/11 and/or other important topics. If one is interested in looking into 9/11 or whores-drawn carriages further, then check out a website that is releasing 5 documentaries, CoreOfCorruption.com. The US Government told us right after the attacks, what seems to be the common assumption today, that 19 young men with a few years of training and maybe 40 hours (42 if you count their video game playing spree of September 10) of flight hours, carrying a Leatherman knife, a pepper spray, and a tuning fork, carried out the most terrific and successful terrorist attack of all times, bringing down two 110-story buildings that were between the most important, if not the most important, and secured in the whole United States of America, in less than two hours, causing nearly 3,000 people to die and without being hampered by any military intervention of any kind whatsoever, I have to stop to take a breath.

The American people bought it with the assumption that “good things only happen in the movies. The FBI and the CIA are not really that good at finding the bad guys after all. We have to accept it. We have to accept the fact that we are naïve morons who could not forebode a catastrophe of such magnitude.

9/11 was not planned a few months or even a few years prior to execution, I tells ya. 9/11 was planned decades in advance. Maybe even centuries in advance. It was planned and executed with military precision, and not ‘any’ military precision.

Either the terrorists got extremely lucky, so lucky in fact, that the rules of physics and even chemistry collapsed during the attack along with the towers themselves. It was like winning the Dubai Lotto. How could a structure that was divided in three sections exactly for this same reason (so that it wouldn’t give way altogether in case of a catastrophe); a structure that engineers who designed and built it said could “survive multiple impacts and fire from a 707-340 carrying 23,000 gallons of fuel” (and bare in mind that airplanes in the ‘70s were heavier than today’s); a structure that stood with 47 massive steel columns in its core frame, implode in on itself in nine or ten seconds? That’s less than a floor per second. Even the pancake theory doesn’t hold. Nothing holds. You've got to know when to hold 'em. Only controlled demolition holds. Especially if you are a goddamn idiot with zero training in building demolition. The brainless morons that slurp up Griffin's bullshit soup have inanely volunteered to recreate the supposed incredible feat. Taking down a 50-story project tower in Detroit using nothing but hacksaws, 1 million M-80s and 10,000 fools rythmically dancing at the tower's natural frequency was attempted Nov. 9, 2009 to fabulous success. Total collapse leaving not a trace of massive beams cut or explosives. However, no one noticed as it was a Saturday in downtown Detroit.
The Background
Afghani Santa Claus, also called Bin Laden, Bingo Man, the Invisible Man and The White Turban Dude, was last seen taking a dump at the White House and eating popcorn at the Bush’s ranch in Texas.

Years prior to September 11, 2001, members of the “Special Unit” were infiltrating Al Qaeda to make sure that Bin Laden was still alive and well and possibly still sending hideous statements against the United States of America. Those Special Unit members suggested Al Qaeda that some of its best men became sleeper cells in America and learned to fly airplanes so that terrorist acts could be performed in American territory. More than $100,000 was wire-transferred to Al Qaeda through the Pakistani Intelligence so that terrorists could be sent to flying schools in the U.S.

Using the tax money paid by the American people, the Special Unit made sure that Al Qaeda members could sleep under a roof, eat and attend the best flying schools in America. Nineteen of those men were going to be used as scapegoats in the attacks of September 11 and some were completely unaware of the fact that the Special Unit was targeting them. Some were not even Al Qaeda members. Their only fault was to be in an aeronautical school in America because they wanted to be pilots in their own countries. But the Special Unit knew that, if it wanted to convince the American people that the terrorists were responsible for the attacks, it had to choose terrorist-looking fellows who happened to attend flying schools in America and then label them as terrorists and plaster their faces in every newspaper and TV screen in the country. In other words, the Special Unit had the names and the faces of each single terrorist responsible for 9/11 even before the year 2001 had started.
The Plan

In the meantime, the boss of the bosses, “The Boss,” of the very special unit, was reuniting with his closest allies to excogitate one of the most disturbing attacks on American soil, a military operation of huge consequences and psychological impact, not only on American citizens, but on citizens around the seven continents, which would give the US Government total sympathy from any government and from its own people to do whatever it decided to do afterward. The reason behind this was basically one: to start a war. Why? To finally use the grand quantity of weapons amassed and never used during the Cold-War Era, to use the tax money to pay for more weapons so that American warlords were happily getting richer and richer, and to have an excuse to invade the countries with most oil reserves in the world: Iraq, Iran and Saudi Arabia. The ultimate goal of this people is to control the entire world the same way Nazis wanted to control all of Europe. It is all beautifully intertwined.
The Technology
The ultimate toy, the Global Hawk Robotic Spy Plane can be flown with a remote control from your house across the oceans and inside buildings. The perfect toy for Christmas!

In sight of the attacks, the Special Unit was honing one of American most innovative technologies, a technology that would be the focal point in the 9/11 attacks and that would allow to remotely control an aircraft the size of a Boeing 767 and 757 from takeoff to landing (although engineers say that the landing would be very difficult, much more difficult than a normal one). That was absolutely not a problem since none of the four airliners were destined to land. The technology already existed as far back as the 1970s and it was called “Home Run,” but it didn’t have anything to do with baseball.

In April, 2001, five months prior to 9/11, Britain’s International Television News announced to the world that the American military had the capability of flying unmanned aircrafts: “A robot plane has made aviation history by becoming the first unmanned aircraft to fly across the Pacific Ocean. The American high-altitude Global Hawk spy plane flew across the ocean to Australia, [defense] officials confirmed.”

On September 10, 2001, an article from The Washington Times suggested that the Israeli military had the same exact technology.

The technology had to be installed into the airliners prior to the attacks (no shit); therefore, the Special Unit must have free access to the airplanes. The only way to assure that was to use American airplanes that were mostly flown over American territory. As a matter of fact, all four flights on 9/11, American Airlines Flight 11, United Airlines Flight 175, American Airlines Flight 77 and United Airlines Flight 93, were domestic flights departing from Boston, Washington and New York and going to California.

The Special Unit was obviously aware of the fact that the door of the cockpit is closed and locked at all times during an American Airlines flight. All it had to do was to remove the black boxes inside the cockpits, install the remote FMCS, which doesn’t stand for Freshwater Mollusk Conservation Society, but for a fully integrated Flight Management Computer System, and also install another remotely-controlled system that would spray a venomous gas inside the cabin to kill or at least K.O. the pilots for hours. Without the black boxes, there would be no records of any pilot contemplating about a venomous or soporific gas been sprayed inside the cabin. Once the pilots were totally unconscious, the Special Unit could guide the aircrafts to their final destinations without any inconvenience.

However, because of unseen circumstances, the Special Unit was forced to leave the black boxes inside the cabins and manipulate them later when they were eventually found. Only two of them were found.
In a Nutshell

The plan was simple: attack Tower One and Tower Two, the Pentagon and fake an unsuccessful attack to the White House. Obviously, the Special Unit had no interest in destroying the White House. But it would make sense that crazy kamikaze terrorists would want to destroy the most important political symbol in American territory and possibly kill the president inside. The plan was to destroy the airliner by means of a military airplane before it could hit the White House.
Getting Ready
Moron/Warlord George W. Bush giving the finger to America and the world. He later stuck his thumb up Cheney’s ass and sucked on it for twenty minutes.

In the year 2000, Republican candidate George W. Bush and Democratic candidate Al Gore were vying to be the next President of the United States of America. Bush won because the Special Unit knew that it needed a moron/potential warlord who had ties with the Bin Laden family if it wanted to successfully attack the United States and blame Islamic terrorists. In the most controversial election in which the winning candidate received fewer popular votes than the runner-up., Bush became the 43rd President of the United States. Good, that much was done. Now America was in real deepshit.

During a series of fire drills in which the Twin Towers were completely evacuated or during the night and/or during a couple of weekends, the Special Unit –backed up by Bush’s brother, Marvin P. Bush, who was member of the board of directors of Securacom, the security company in charge of the Word Trade Center, from 1993 (year of the first attack) to 2000– put the thermite explosives that would later assure the collapse of Tower One, Two and Seven.

A few months before 9/11, the United States Air Force and the North American Aerospace Defense Command made sure than no military airplane would be near the Twin Towers during the attacks. Four war games far away from New York and Washington were going on during the attacks and orders to scramble jets did not come until after three of the four airliners had crashed into the Twin Towers and the Pentagon. This is not surprising. If the airliners would have been intercepted, how could the Government explain the collapse of one of the towers that was never hit? The Special Unit had to make sure that both the South and the North Tower were hit before collapsing.
The Pentagon
First Theory
Dude, where is my car?

Approximately 50 minutes after the first attack, a missile-made airplane that had wings and even had the logo of the American Airlines so as to make people watching believe that it was a passenger airliner, crashed into the Pentagon and made a big hole in the only section of the pentagonal building that was reinforced against such a possible attack and where important Naval and CIA files were destroyed. The terrorist who flew the airplane did all the effort to make a maneuver that professional pilots call “nearly impossible” just to destroy CIA files. There are two gas stations near the Pentagon. If the terrorist really wanted to cause a much greater disaster he might have taken one gas station with him on his way to the Pentagon. In fact, he made such a delicate steer that the airplane was on a 15-degree-angle dive and almost landing. Also, he could have flown nose-down on a much easier 90-degree angle toward the center of the building and cause much more damage and casualties.

There were no big, evident remains of a large aircraft inside the Pentagon. Only some small pieces of the aircraft, as stated by a firefighter interviewed after the incident, were found inside the building. The Special Unit put those “small pieces” of an aircraft before and after the attack.
Second Theory

Another plausible explanation to the lack of evidence that an airplane had crashed in the Pentagon is that the original airliner, American Airlines Flight 77, was so fraught with explosives in its interior that it virtually destroyed itself on impact. This would also explain the stench of kerosene in the air and the greater-than-normal damage provoked by the otherwise feeble nose of the airplane.
The Boeing E-4
White, big ass airplanes used by the American military to control the American people’s minds through the force of satellites and Bin Laden’s farts. They have the technology to vaporize entire universes and remotely control airplanes to crash into Government buildings.

While orders to land thousands of commercial airplanes were immediately issued by the Government after the South Tower began to collapse, two “Doomsday” E-4Bs remained airborne. In fact, witnesses said that they saw the military aircrafts flying over Washington prior to the Pentagon attack. How come the Government managed to have two big ass E-4Bs, which fly at 602 mph or 969 km/h, in the sky above Washington minutes before the attack, but did not manage to scramble jet fighters that fly at 1,500 mph or 2,414 km/h? That’s two and half times faster than the E-4Bs. Jet fighters are trained to be escorting any airplane that give signs of trouble in less than 10 minutes. How come the first jet fighter did not arrive at the scene of the attacks until after the first tower started to collapse (that’s approximately 50 minutes, or five times slower than usual, and this was no ordinary situation). One would think that the sky above the East Coast on 9/11 must have been air-filled with F-16s. The Government blatantly denied that military aircraft were flying over Washington.

The Government denied that E-4Bs were airborne at that time because they were there to make sure that there were no obstacles preventing American Airlines Flight 77 from hitting the Pentagon bull’s-eye style; also, to remote-control the airplanes (the real Doomsdays) into the buildings.
America, we cannot let the terrorists win!

Image:Jonpatriot.png
See also

* Pants Bomber

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Categories: American History | 9/11 | Conspiracies
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